Emergency Broadcast System: Tsunami in progress for Japan


this is a message from the United States
Department of Defense at 12:15 Eastern Standard Time
Noren detected an incoming dipshit in the Memphis metropolitan area with the
epicenter in the Bartlett area the effects of this dipshit exceed the
metropolitan area and can be felt as far as Canada and Florida therefore
evacuation is not advisable this dip shot is expected to stay in the area
until further notice prolonged exposure to depreciate are’
can result in health hazards such as autism diarrhea and Jeff Goldblum
civilians are advised to not speak about Taylor Swift Olive Garden League of
Legends or politics until this dipshit warning has expired if you require more
information turn the dial on your a.m. radio to 850 for further safety
precautions you

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