So our plan for today is just to produce as much sewage as possible, until we eventually get the volcano to erupt.
(Oh lord here we go.) And to help us with that cause, we are going to set up some new land – we’re going to start populating this half of the city. “RT what do you have against West Virginia” – I don’t have anything against West Virginia, but apparently Todd Howard … like, wants to destroy the place 76 times over. Now, I have to be real careful with this because like, unlike last time where we had, like, a blank canvas we DO actually have a bunch of road here. OKAY HERE WE GO In-game news announcer: “… You should seek shelter immediately if any is available!” … Oh that was lame. Oh there we go. Perfect. Okay, we’ve got the crater. Wait, why did we get bankrupt now? Hang on. (Laughing) Why is – *wheeze* everyone dead? We’re just gonna reload the save. Are you telling me I can’t, like, just rain meteors down on this bit of land? Because they can’t go a day without putting the kettle on. Just fill the bathtub for, like, a week! You’ll have plenty of water. Look at this SMOOTH circle. (Noice) Yeah, that looks safe. “Use terraforming tools, RT” – Well, we ARE using the terraforming tools!! They’re called meteors! There we go. Working police station! And it only covers HALF of Washington Street! Only the best for my citizens. Uh – which is why we’re going to cram in some more of them. “Citizens are sick.” How are citizens sick? We have one clinic! covering the entire place, like how- Oh my god, yeah okay you can look at the reach. They’re all – they’re all sick, all over the place. We need, like, a clinic in every one of these craters, are you kidding me? Okay so we need a BUNCH of clinics then but that’s gonna cost us so much money. And then apparently crime is high in this pit too!! I’m sorry, too many people are dying. (wonder why) We can’t afford those new citizens. (Laughing) I’m sorry!! The plague is still spreading! Oh my god, half of these houses are just abandoned. We’re never going to see this volcano erupt because people are just dying of disease.
(Maybe because of the “volcano”?) Okay, we’re going to reload again. Welcome to Groundhog Day but it’s West Virginia. “Poo water” “Water pollution” “There is water pollution” – Where? There’s no water pollution. “Move the water tower” – What are you guys talking about? Guys, the pollution is fine, it’s contained! See? That’s a pollution pit. That’s also pollution. Like, those are the areas that are supposed to be polluted, it’s FINE! You guys are freaking out about nothing. “Move the pipes and the poop thing” -They don’t do anything. Okay, move? (Laughing) You guys keep screaming at me to move those pipes? Oh, I’ll move those pipes. Oh, I’ll put a pump down there next if you’re not careful. I – I – I don’t care if these people die. I really don’t care. I’ll kill – I’d kill them TWICE if I had the opportunity. Like, why can’t I put the dump there? What’s wrong with it? The dump! No one cares if stuff falls off the mountain. You guys have so much issue with the bins Can I just build a dump over your homes? Okay, you know what imma do? There we go. Build it on the school. They’re still complaining about crime. Oh my god, just this crater is never going to be happy. All I wanna do is erupt the poop volcano and kill them. in-game news announcer: “Astrologists report that a devastating meteor -” THAT WASN’T ME Oh my god, it’s coming right for us. Oh thank god, it hit the volcano. I’m building outside the crater. I’m doing it just to get high-density, we can destroy all this land afterwards. “I want a garbage collection service.” Jeremy, if I find you, you’ll be the first to die. Do nothing but complain on Twitter. Jeremy’s the kinda guy, whenever there’s a disaster in the world, that’s using, like, the #PRAY Thoughts and prayers. You need to be an ACTIVIST, Jeremy. You need to achieve actual change in the world (Laughing) … in our society. Screw this gu– This is where he lives! Apparently he’s working in the Quiet Corner Shop, hang on. This is what happens when you use those hashtags on Twitter. (Laughing) YES!!! Guys, a terrible accident has occurred to Jeremy. If we could all go on social media, just type #PRAYFORJEREMY Yeah, let’s build the new shop. That’s what Jeremy gets. Okay, we just increased the sheer volume of poop we’re now producing. … We’re losing a lot more money. Okay, let’s leave our mouse cursor here for a moment and let’s just see – how long it takes. Now, there are waves. It’s starting to develop, like, a tidal system. I think over time, I think it is gradually rising. It’s starting to spend more time, like – above the mouse than below. We’re going to add more poop pipes soon, we’re just trying to make more money. And to make more money we need to just expand the city. “You’re just giving up on building craters – ” Well, every time I try to build craters, like the freaking city, just like, plunges into chaos. I would do it, but everyone dies. We need another cemetery, like how many, like, people are going to be dead by the end of this stream? Yeah, these roads are pretty bad. (Laughing) Ohohhh god (Laughing) “End the stream right before the poop reaches the top.” That would be so cruel. We ARE almost there. Like, it has risen astronomically since we’ve installed the new pipes. Here, we’ll get the disaster shelters in in advance before the poopcano strikes. I mean, you don’t take the poopcano seriously? That’s how you’re first to die in the poopcano. “Put tsunami buoys in the volcano.” You know you’ve got a sewage problem when you need one of these. “Get more pipes” – At this point, I don’t know how much it matters. Okay, alright! We can get a few more. “Will you ever do a real City Skylines?” This was a real City Skylines!!! What are you talking about?! You know, it just incurred a tragic natural disaster. Capital City! “Can set up a harbor.” (Laughing) WAIT – Can I…? Nooo I don’t think there is — I was wanting to set up a harbor. (Laughing) I was gonna see if I could set up, like, a port.
(Now I’m disappointed 🙁 ) I don’t know how this eruption’s gonna go as well, cause someone just pointed out that, like, the – When this floods it’s going to destroy all the homes. So what happens to the poo production? (Country Roads playing softly in the background)
It’s time for the end. Mount Lama’s gonna erupt. Here we go. Someone is building a new home, the ballsy man. (Country Roads hits the chorus) We filled the volcano. People are reporting flooding down below. It’s hard to see. There’s no flooding down below yet. Let’s give it a hand, here NOOOO THE PIPES THE PIPES! WAIT, IT’S ERUPTING! IT’S ERUPTING!! OHOHAHAHOH OHOHOH (RT Dies) Let’s get some on the sides. Spill the volcano. Oh my god, we’ve just punched a hole in the side of it. OHHOH GOD (Country Roads gently playing while panicked news reporter screams) OH YEAH THAT’S DRAINED HER! THAT’S DONE IT Welcome to West Virginia. (reading the pop-up notification) Yeah, no, don’t – don’t worry I’ll fix those pipes later. Yeah, I think there’s a backlogged toilet in, like, South Crater. Think that’s the problem.