Your Weekly Horoscope: October 23rd | Momscopes | Scary Mommy


– Welcome to Momscopes, I’m Nefertiti and may peace find you in your zodiac– (rattles) Are you kidding me? You know this is when I do my thing. Like seriously, now, we’re
not, no, it’s not catch, it’s, no, no. (dreamy music) Aries, spend some time with
people you love to laugh with and talk about light-hearted matters. The only people you love
to laugh with is yourself, when you’re alone and thinking about how crazy your life has become. Remember when you could
stay up past 9:30 p.m.? 9:30, ha! (laughs tensely) Taurus, one of the many good things about having so many people
in your life right now is that you always have tons of feedback available at your fingertips. Tons. Your mom has feedback,
the kids have feedback, the little old lady on the
street always has feedback, this guy has feedback and
that guy has feedback, feedback, feedback, feedback! Just get off by back, okay? Thank you! (exhales) Gemini, it seems as though
the more things change the more they stay the same, like there are more toys in your house that just keep building up, but you know what doesn’t change? Who cleans them up, that’s
you, my little Gemi-Gem. Always you, you, you, just cleaning up, cleaning
up, you, you, you, you. Done! Cancer, perfection is something that exists in your imagination,
but it’s rare in reality. Yeah, it is. Rare is even being
a little hopeful, isn’t it? Nobody gets me, like I’m the one that’s always doing everything, and I mean, you know, it’s fine, but it’s not really fine, okay? And I don’t know how to ask for help. Time’s up? Okay, thanks. Leo, there will always be
obstacles in your life– (ball dabs) That’s just a fact. Virgo, inspiration will
flood over you today, enjoy having your curiosity
tickled and excited. Wouldn’t it be cool to have something else tickled and excited for once, just once? You know, I’ve been married for like ever, like forever-forever,
and he’s a great guy. I’m not perfect, but who’s
perfect anyway, right? I started journaling like you said, it’s been helping a little bit. I think I can do a little bit more. Libra, Lib-town, Libby, lib-lib-libs! You may think that you are
judged by the company you keep, but that is not necessarily
true, not necessarily, but it is, it’s so true, especially when your kid
had that level 100 meltdown over a toy you wouldn’t buy him. Oh, how they judged. Scorpio, if you are in a
mood to hide from the world, then today will offer you
the perfect opportunity. The perfect opportunity is
during a game of hide-and-seek. (giggles) I’m hiding right now. See? Hey, hello, yes, can I get an order of
three large cheese pizzas? Oh, don’t ring the bell, just text me. Sagittarius, your daily life is currently being
polluted a bit by someone whose maturity level
leaves a lot to be desired. Yeah, your kids’ maturity level. Can’t they just have the
maturity to just leave you alone and let you read a good book? Oh! Capricorn, time is definitely precious, but it’s not as rare as some people would have you believe. Everybody acts like they
need more time in the day, but honestly, Cappie, you just need more time in the day to sleep. ♪ Hush, little Cappie, don’t you cry ♪ ♪ You’re gonna sleep some time tonight ♪ Aquarius, you are full of
vitality and ready to move forward on something new, but this
is not the day for it. You can feel all the
vitality in the world, but if your kid has the runs, you have to put that vitality on the shelf and take the toilet paper off the shelf. (box cover bangs)
(box screeches) Pisces, today will serve as both a starting point in your life and as a great big finish line. Exactly, right when you start something, you’ll have to stop doing it. Start, finish, start,
finish, start, finish, start. (toy car rattles) Finish. Well, that’s today’s episode of Momscopes. I hope your state of mind is at peace and you have a great week. (ball bangs)
(toys rattle) Great week. Give me that ball! You know, don’t you, you
can’t run, huh, I got you. What’s up with you, you wanna throw balls?

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